Aleksey Gretsov

If Aleksey could give any advice to his younger self, it would be not to curse or raise his voice at his children. Don’t worry – he hasn’t done anything wrong. Aleksey is a kind and decent person. This advice would be for the time before he understood that his twin sons, Pasha and Dima, had atypical autism.

They’re six years old now, and Aleksey and his wife have grown accustomed to the peculiarities of their daily lives. Ongoing interventions include treatment with a psychologist, a special needs expert, a kinesiologist and a speech therapist. On top of that, there’s regular music therapy and swimming. The kids can’t skip classes, or else they risk losing all the progress they’ve achieved through hard work.

Each day is both similar to and different from the previous one. Similar not just because of the regular classes, but also their repetitive behaviours. The boys take the same roads when going about their day, and stop at the same places along the way. While things may be moving slowly, Pasha and Dima are making improvements.

“For me personally, the biggest boost comes from their progress,” Aleksey says. “There was an autumn festival recently, and the teachers sent us videos from the rehearsals where they’re dancing to music. I was so happy to see them managing to do that!”

The first signs that something was different about the twins came when they were two years old. Their parents were helping them prepare for kindergarten and trying to teach them to speak. Aleksey’s wife found a list of exercises, but the boys couldn’t do them. For example, they didn’t understand what to do when their parents asked them to blow on a feather.

There were visits to lots of different doctors. Some assured the parents that the signs of unusual development would pass, while others prescribed powerful sedatives instead of treatments. The official diagnosis of atypical autism was made only two years later. They were considered disabled persons. At this point, Aleksey didn’t need confirmation from doctors to know what his family was going through.

“By this time, of course, we’d already gone through all the stages: denial, anger, acceptance. During this period, I realised that you don’t need to compare your children with anyone else’s, whether they’re neurotypical or have the same developmental difficulties. All children are unique, and they all develop in their own way,” Aleksey said.

Dima and Pasha are in a school-preparing class. It’s another small step on the path to progress. Aleksey is genuinely hopeful that more will follow, and that his sons will be able to start the first year of school one day. Maybe not at age seven, as is usually the case, but later. Everyone goes at their own speed. The main thing is to continue making progress.